Energy Transfer? Real or Fake?

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‘No, that was too easy. Let’s try again.’ He said. ‘Good, hold your hand out. Close your eyes, now I will swipe my hand pass yours. Tell me when you feel my hand above yours.’

Holding my right hand up straight with my palm down, I closed my eyes. Trying to concentrate on all my senses. I just shared with my best friend the theory of energy transfer, and I don’t want to be disappointed by our little experiment.

‘Ok, here we go’

I did not tell him when I felt his hand above mine. My eyes flew open in shock at that split second, and I saw his hand directly above mine.

I did not only feel his hand above mine. But I felt his energy ran through it, traveled up my upper body and landed between my brows, so strongly that my eyes snapped open with shock. The transfer happened in a split second. But the sensation was very strong. There was no mistake. Some form of invisible force was sent from my friend to me.

‘What the hell was that !?’

I explained to my friend what I just experienced. It was so fascinating that I wanted to try again. My friend said that he knew that it would be a success, but he wasn’t so sure he can do that again if we tried. So we concluded that energy transferring is real.

We tried this experiment in a sushi place in a shopping mall’s food court. My friend is not a medium, psychic, or a healer. But I’ve always felt that he is different from most people.

I later discovered in the book ‘Reiki for Life’ that the ‘Third Eye’ or ‘Brow’ chakra located between every person’s eye brows, exactly where I felt my friend’s energy the strongest, is the point used to sense… well…energy.

Later on when I met Reiki masters and I get to run my hands through their channeling hands, I would feel the warmth and vibration on my hand, which sometimes travel up my body and land between my eye brows.

I spent many months arguing with myself after I discovered the concept of Empathetic ability. I turned my back to books about reincarnation because something inside me screamed out that the concept was very real, and I was afraid to lose touch with reality.

Now at this point, I knew that I am a sensitive who perceives energy a bit easier than most people. I knew that Third Eye chakra is probably real. What else out there about spirituality is real? Or at least what else that I have the courage to believe that they are real. I’m still on my little journey to discover what’s really within all of us.

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The power of visualization

It was often during my short naps that the dreams were most vivid.

Today, it happened during an afternoon nap. Warm and snuggly in my partner’s arm, I fell smoothly into a vivid, peculiar dream.

I found myself in a large room housing a gigantic architecture model of a large building structure. The model was so large that it took up almost the space of the entire room, leaving a comfortable, naturally lit path around it for visitors to walk around and observe. It was all in white, with tall walls covering up the details within. I wasn’t sure what the structure was. It could be a power plant, a large factory, or even a small town.

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As when I was circling the structure curiously, I’ve noticed the presence of another person (or even two) in that room. He was a man at least in his 60s, with grey hair and tall, slim physique. Wise and knowing. Somehow, I knew he was my guide.

As I observe the structure, trying to figure out its purpose, I’ve noticed that there was a canal that snake around the outer wall of the structure. The canal was so well built that it felt almost real to me. When I shared the thought with my guide, he gently urged me to take a closer look.

The small stream that was supposed to be a model, was actually real.

As I realized that, I was transferred, almost sucked, into that stream. Like how Doraemon would use Gulliver beam light to shirk people before embarking on an adventure. Surfing wondrously, I’ve realized that I am within myself, dreaming vividly.

Comfortable, and in control, I knew that I might be able to control my dream. That was when I decided to try Dr. Brian Weiss’s technique, to try to visit my past life. I have not got to the part of his book where he guides the visualization technique for the past life regression, but I knew bits and pieces of some techniques from the other books. One of them was to visualize going into a library, and finding the book with your name on it, and open it up.

With my less-than-informed knowledge, I try to visualize the book with my name on it. But I was so rushed that I did not have the patient to visualize the bookshelf or the book with my name on the cover. My next scene was me holding up an already opened book.

Nothing happened.

Desperate, I willed my name to be written on one of the pages I was observing. And there it appeared, larger than the text that surrounded it, was my name, big and bold. I begin to read, and I was sucked into the book.

Delighted, I happily let myself transferred into the book, hoping I would catch a glimpse of something that would be interesting. I was greeted with an obscure scene of a skyline. An orange-red skyline where I saw silhouettes of a short tower and a few small buildings covered in threes. I could not really make out the clear view, the sky was red with either dawn or dusk, rendering all the buildings and trees black against it. The time felt older. Whether or not, it was the obscurity of the scene, I felt alarmed.

That was when I got scared.

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I’ve always had an issue with sleep paralysis. My mind would be conscious but scarily trapped in my own body that I would then, lost control of. Hallucination is common if I let fear takes control.

Afraid of being trapped, I decided to pull myself out, willing to wake up. To my surprise, I did not have to struggle or fight my way to the surface of consciousness like when sleep paralysis plagued me. The waking up was simple enough. Just a command to myself, I was pulled out of the scene.

The strange thing was the length of the process.

Contrary to the normal waking up process, where I naturally came to consciousness in a split second, this one feels far longer. I felt myself getting pulled out of the dream. Fly through a tunnel, passing multiple layers of spaces that opened up to let me through and closed down after I was through. Finally, I arrived back on the warm bed, with the bell from the bell tower somewhere, still ringing in my ears.

Afterwards, my partner told me I was mumbling in my sleep.

So my attempt to try and take a peek into my past life without proper info was quite unsuccessful. But my little lucid dream adventure where I get to play a director of my own dream was curiously enjoyable!

The theory for the Empathy.

Warning: this story might be dark and full of pain. Careful when low energy.

When I was growing up, my father has always been verbally abusive. He would scream at me and my brothers at the top of his lungs, for the smallest mistakes that we may or may not have done. His face would flush red with anger, eyes tearful with madness, his body stiff and tense for every word he let out. I remembered us fleeing from the dinner table most of the time we heard his car coming into the driveway. We hid in our rooms, wanting nothing to do with him. To these days, when I visit home, I still tense up ever time he enters the dining room in the evening. He was, and still is, a walking unstable explosive that could get detonated by a slightest stimulant.

I fend for myself. When I am in my father’s presence, I’ve made it a habit to ‘probe’ him. I would greet him with a cheerful tone. Ask him light question such as ‘Have you eaten?’ or just ‘Hello dad’. His answer or lack of answer will give me the first hint of his current state of mind. Next, I would listen to his foot steps, the sound when he wash his hands, and his body languages when he joined in the dining table. All the time, I would will all my senses available to perceive and analyse to decide whether or not, I should flee.

I have a theory that this childhood experience is the reason why I am receptive of other people’s energy, especially the closest ones. My partner once asked me ‘How come you are so good at reading people’. Even before I came to know the concept of an Empath, I shared this theory with him.

A lot of Empath believe that their ability are either passed on genetically by their empathetic parents, or gained as a result of an abusive or neglected childhood. This might be true.

For the most part, I do not hold my father to be at fault. I do not know the reason of his anger, as communication has proven very difficult. I know that deep down in his heart, his love toward me exist and that he is helpless against his anger. A lot of time, my heart goes out to him, desperate to help. I hope that one day, I could lead both my parents to peace and happiness.

 

 

 

Is there such a thing as an Empath?

It was also in my dorm room, the second time that I googled the question up again. ‘Why am I so effected by people’s emotion?’ And I got the same answer.

This time, rather than ditching the possibility that sounds very much like scifi-fantasy fiction, I chose to find out more.

I googled up more articles, join Facebook community, and bought a kindle book to read. It seems that the things I have found strange about me during my whole life, are not so strange at all. Those traits are shared and are completely normal among Empaths.

The first time ever that I was able to detect a foreign energy in my body, was my most recent visit to Bangkok for the October holiday. I met up with an ex that has turned into a good friend for a good fusion pizza at Jamie Oliver’s in the city center. It happened twice. First time in the shopping mall, and again while we were alone in my car heading somewhere I can’t remember.

I felt a sudden sexual urge toward my ex lover. It suddenly occur to me that I want to kiss him. It was sudden, out of nowhere, and foreign but at the same time hot and real. A few second after, the urge died. I felt guilty and was internally scolding myself for being so tactless and inappropriate.

It occurs to me shortly after that the urge might not be mine at all. I did not have the courage to ask until a month later when I was already back in my city. My ex was nothing if not honest and understanding. He admitted that he still have sexual urge towards me every time he saw me.

While I assured him that it’s totally okay, I am now quite sure that this is the first time in my life that I successfully detected a foreign energy that I absorbed from others.

Tonight while I was walking in the metro, on the way back to my place. There were a lot of people to walk pass as usual. It was sudden. I walk pass a couple of people, we exchange glances, I felt their eyes on me, and I feel the familiar anxiety that crept up to me from behind, from the direction of those people. The anxiety was creeping up, heavy and gripping.

I remember the shielding technique from the Facebook community, and quickly throw up my mirror shields. In that instant, the grip released, the anxiety subsided, and I’m light again. It was a strange experience, I was very glad the shielding work. I’m not even sure if the anxiety came from within me or from those people. But the technique worked!

The anxiety that creeps up to me every time I exchanged glances with strangers on the street was so common to me that I thought it was purely me being nervous of being looked at. Today’s experience suggested a new possibility that the anxiety might not occur within me. Only a possibility. But possibility that will lead to more experiment and more discoveries. If this possibility ended up not right, I can still keep this mirror shielding technique up my sleeve for the next anxious occasion.

Until next time, keep learning.

First blog, for all the new discoveries to come

It’s a Sunday night in autumn 2017.
It has been 1 year and 8 months since I moved here.
So many things I have discovered within me in such a short period of time.
I know myself a little more every day.
And this blog is my journal to record all those I found,
and more yet to be discovered.

Hello my future me, I know you will come back to this sooner or later.
No matter what you are right then,

remember that on this earth,
there are things about you, have yet to be discovered.